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First impressions count. So when you introduce yourself to someone you want to ensure you’re doing it right.

When you don’t know anyone at a networking event, how do you break into a conversation?
Head for a group of two or more people. Walk up slowly – don’t pounce, you don’t want to frighten them! When you’ve caught someone’s eye, say, “Excuse  me, can I join you?”

It’s also important that you don’t take over the conversation. Allow them to continue talking and look interested, nodding occasionally. Wait until there is a break in the conversation for someone to introduce themselves to you and then say who you are and perhaps what company you’re with. The reason you don’t do this earlier is that you don’t want to break into their conversation.

In other words, if you say, “I’m Patsy Rowe and I’m with New Holland Publishers”, it may lead to someone saying, “Oh, you’re in publishing. How interesting. My sister is looking for a publisher”. So what you’ve done is taken them away from what they were talking about, to one of the people in the group talking directly to you.

Is there a particular order in which you should introduce people to each other?
The business world is gender free so women don’t take precedence as they do in the social world, where the man is introduced to the woman. In a social setting, you typically say the woman’s name first. “Barbara, I’d like you to meet Peter from the apartment upstairs.”

However, this doesn’t apply in the business world and it’s always a case of junior rank to senior rank. For example, the receptionist is introduced to the
CEO. “Ms Young, this is Susie Myer our new receptionist.” Again, you say the higher ranking or more senior person’s name first.

What should you actually say when being introduced?
If you’re in a very formal situation, then: “May I introduce …” is ideal, otherwise “I’d like you to meet ...” or “I don’t believe you’ve met my boss ...” or even “John, I think you met Susan at last year’s Christmas drinks?” is fine.

What do you do when you’ve forgotten someone’s name?
Try to manoeuvre the conversation around so that something clicks in your memory and, hopefully, the name flashes before your eyes. If that fails, try swapping business cards. Say, “I must give you my new card because I‘ve changed a few details. Do you have your card handy?” If they say they don’t
have a card, use your card to write their details. Ask, “How do I spell your name again?” This should do the trick.

Hopefully, people should remember that when they meet someone they don’t know very well, they should always walk forward extending their hand saying, “Hi, you may not remember me. I’m Patsy Rowe. We met at the speaker’s conference last year.” It’s silly to expect everyone to remember who you are so start making it easy for one another.

When is it ok to offer a business card? In Asia, you do it straight away with two hands, but in Australia that’s a bit aggressive – so what’s the best way to do it?
I think it’s more discreet to ask for the other person’s card first. Begin with a subtle compliment: “I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you, what a shame we have to go in to lunch. Do you have your card handy?” This enables a smooth exchange. Instigating this will probably remind others standing around to swap cards too, but if anyone keeps their hands firmly out of their pockets, I’d assume they’re not keen and don’t push it.

If you want to introduce yourself to someone who is surrounded by a crowd, what should you do?
Stand where you can be seen and when you can catch the eye of the person you want to speak to, smile. This will alert them to the fact you want to speak with them.  

Patsy Rowe is a business etiquette expert www.etiquette.com.au