Look how far we’ve come
By Cate Bolt | Jun 01, 12 08:15 AMDoes the term ‘Mummy Blogger’ make anyone else want to vomit?
If you’re a woman and you’ve ever started a business you’ve probably heard the words “how’s your little business going?” from a friend or family member. I’m going to put it out there that those are not words that would normally be said to a man. No matter how “little” his “business” is.
Around 13 years ago I started a “little business” from home. It was an accident. Not at all well planned at the time but when I sold it a few years ago it was the largest retailer of wedding goods in the country. I remember being hell bent on opening a bricks and mortar outlet specifically so I could finally be taken seriously. Didn’t matter how much money I was making or how many staff I employed, when I attended a trade fair and said “home based business” and was a woman, people shuffled the rate cards and handed me the ones for “cottage industry”.
Fortunately the way home based businesses are perceived has shifted slightly in the last decade. But I don’t think the way women (particularly, mothers) are perceived has changed much at all.
This week another article was published on the “Rise of the Mummy Bloggers” it featured my good friend Eden Riley and the hilariously funny (and incredibly astute) Mrs Woog. The gist of the story is that some women, who happen to have children, have been paid to write some things! Hold the f**king press!! Women? Mothers? Write stuff for money? Do they have typewriters in their kitchens?
I’m not going to go into a rant about how stupid and degrading I find the term “Mummy Blogger” (it’s stupid and degrading) but I am gobsmacked at the concept of women who happen to be mothers, earning some income, doing something they enjoy being newsworthy.
I’m also not going to go on about blog monetisation being the downfall of the “new media” – seriously, if you want to monetise your blog – go the hell for it, man. I probably won’t read your sponsored posts because I don’t care about what you’re flogging, I actually care about YOU.
What irks me is that the article doesn’t mention anything about social good.
“Oh Cate, you know no one gives a shit about that hippie-tree-hugging-shit you’re always on about” I hear you shout. “That’s not what sells newspapers, Cate”. And believe me, I know! I used to be a magazine editor, remember? I used to write the bits that were only there to fill the space between the ads. But when I posted an interview I did with the band Korn 15 YEARS AGO on Facebook a while ago, at least three people (who I didn’t know 15 years ago) said they remembered it.
“It was stuff like this that made my life in Bundaberg bearable!” said one.
And *that’s* what I’m talking about. No one remembers the ads. But people remember what it took to get them through.
This newspaper article chose to mention that Eden was a recovering alcoholic, BUT it didn’t choose to mention that she travelled to Niger, Africa to cover the impending famine for World Vision. It didn’t mention that because of her blogging dozens of children were sponsored through World Vision. It doesn’t mention that she now shares her marital bed with the ghosts of starving children that she doesn’t ever get to forget. It doesn’t mention her frustration of not being able to fix the problem, or to even see firsthand the impact her blogging journey had on Africa. It doesn’t mention that every time Eden Riley mentions my Foundation 18 donations instantly appear and children’s lives are saved.
The story is not the ads. It’s not the money. The story is the lifesaving impact that blogging has on the entire world. The willingness of women (particularly, but not exclusively) to bare their souls for the benefit of others. If women making money is newsworthy then seriously, look how far we’ve come.
Every day someone, somewhere, is being touched by the words of a stranger. My good friend Amanda Cox has touched women suffering from post natal depression. I’ve no doubt that she’s saved lives. Mrs Woog shares her stories about her Princess Boy who wears pink and does ballet. Mothers cry with relief that someone else out there “gets it”. Eden herself got to where she is by sharing her battles with fertility, addiction and her husband’s cancer. Lori Dwyer’s brutally honest accounts of her husband’s suicide left people raw with emotion – but I know people thought twice about taking their own lives after reading them.
I don’t know what it takes to shift the focus. Maybe we need to put a dollar figure on the lives saved or what it would cost the public purse to pay for the effects of drug and alcohol addiction or – ultimately – suicide of people who feel they have nowhere else to turn. Maybe, I don’t know. Maybe it can’t be done.
What I do know is – it’s not about the money. These women with their blogs… their “little businesses” are in the business of saving lives – and that’s worth writing about.
Cate Bolt is a mother of 9, writer, humanitarian & social activist. She is dedicated to improving the lives of others through compassion, fundraising, awareness and by motivating others to take action.
She is the President & Founder of Project 18 which exists to raise funds for humanitarian and conservation projects, the first of which was an orphanage in Bali, which is now operational.
This post was originally posted on Cate's blog An Ordinary Life.
I write an art ctriticism blog that is attracting Nobel Prize Laureates to ask for reviews and interviews. A fellow (male) accountant heard "that I blog" and sent me the article you are talking about. He just assumed I was blogging about the challenges of being a mother. Thanks for a fantastic article.Reply
Great post Cate and keep up the good work with Project 18. xx Reply
Cate - you've officially topped my 'people with a lot of kids' list. No mean feat. A friend (and fellow Business Chicks member) has eight, but I take my hat off to you for having nine - congrats. I loved reading this piece because I hear my story in your words. Whenever I'm asked what I do, and I tell them I run a network for women (or some similar answer) people say "Oh that's nice." Why's it nice? Why's it not considered amazing/real work by some? Is it just nice because it's for women? In the past I've found myself always having to add more so it sounds impressive, but I've given up doing that as I've become more confident/older/experienced/self-assured. Those who are touched by our work know that our impact is far reaching and powerful. And for those who don't know our work, that's cool too. We'll go about our business inspiring great women and supporting them on their journeys. And there's nothing 'nice' about that ;-)Reply
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By Carol Jones NSW | Jun 03, 2012, 05:26 AMMorning Emma. I'm a great supporter of the mens group The Mens Shed. And follow them on twitter @shedonline. And notice the same antipathy towards them. Living and working from my remote rural property, I'm only too aware of how many rural men commit suicide, suffer depression and feel the effects of extreme loneliness. They don't set up help networks like women do. The Mens Shed movement has gone a long way towards improving the emotional stability of men in crisis. I always refer to them as the CWA on steroids. But they're not taken seriously either by the community at large. The perception is that it's nothing more than a group of troubled men who get together. The fact that they go into the community and do odd jobs for people who can't do for themselves. And make things for the local school. And spend their time contributing to others. As well as saving the lives of their members by preventing more suicides - doesn't count. No matter what happens in the world, I always come to the conclusion that worth is gauged by wealth. Not by help. The Bernie Madoffs and Martha Stewarts of the world are always given the big tick. No matter how corrupt. Off my soapbox now. Best wishes to all for a lovely Sunday. ~Carol
Greetings Cate from rural Australia. What a powerful article! I'm not a mother. Nor do I write a blog about the trials of my life. I'm a woman without children who has been in business since 1983. I started my first business, a market research consultancy, 'at home'. And relished the fact that no one took me seriously. It gave me time and space to build my business into something bigger, without the pressure of having to appear to be successful. Like the men who I met who were also starting out, but in rented offices. The only people who mattered to me were my clients. And they grew my business for me by word of mouth. Long after the men mentioned above closed their doors because they weren't successful enough and couldn't pay the rent on their office premises, I moved into shared offices with my partner, Victor Pleshev, an architect. When Victor's architectural world fell apart in the property crash in the 'recession we had to have' in 1992, we had to close both businesses and farewell 16 beautiful staff and sell everything - our home of 20 years, our personal possessions, our cars - to avoid bankruptcy. We reinvented ourselves by escaping to the bush, where we could afford to live. And again became tarred with the 'home based business brush'. We created an accidental business out of a humble product Victor designed for his mother - The Fitz Like A Glove™ Ironing Board Cover - and travelled the field days and show circuit for 14 years, building up a clientele. I refused to entertain the thought of retail. Always being asked and chided as to how we could afford to live, being the purveyors of an ironing board cover, we quietly worked away at building the business up. Today, the business is all online and the cover has more than 250,000 one-on-one customers world wide. Our story has been written about in every major Australian newspaper and magazine. And I've been on radio and TV. All while everyone who's not a customer treated my business as an insignificant entity. My attitude is always the same. The only people who matter are the people who pay for your product and talk about you in glowing terms to their friends and family. Everyone else is insignificant. As a woman in business I'm insulted by the term 'mummy blogger'. But do know that more than one 'mummy blogger' is quietly amassing a fortune while being derided. Janine Alliss of Boost Juice was always referred to in the press as 'a stay at home Greek mother'. Stereotypes abound. Ask any 'stay at home dad', male secretary or male nurse. The trick is to ignore the stereotype. This allows you to make mistakes out of the public eye. By quietly building up your skills and being better than those around you who you compete with - and that includes both men and women - you eventually get noticed. And emerge from your cocoon as a beautiful, flawless, butterfly. I also LOVE Mrs Woog! I look forward to reading more of your work, Cate. Best wishes, Carol Reply










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