Motherguilt no more.By Emma Dunwoody | Sep 12, 12 08:23 AM
“There are too many mothers out there feeling guilty. It’s ok to be a good mother and not a perfect mother.” Ita Buttrose
This quote from Ita Buttrose struck a real cord with me late last week, as a mother I often feel guilty for spending time on my business instead of with the children yet if I write down all the things I do for them in a day I can’t understand how I come to feeling so guilty. It’s like when I look in a mirror and all I see is butt and thighs, but seriously I wear a size 10 how big can they really be?!
If you’re anything like me your children have nice clothes, enjoy a full timetable of sports and play dates, attend a good school and have no want for anything, except of course the latest Star Wars Lego ship, we spend the weekend as a family and come Monday we get them up and off to school, we feed them good healthy food and the occasional treat and just love and adore them, so why the guilt? Is it because we feel that we should be at home with them all the time? Or is it that we believe that they’re missing out on something from us not being around 24/7?
My mother was a career mother and I have always been proud of the way she followed her career as well as being an amazing mother to me; it's certainly had no long term effect on me other that the desire to follow my own fulfilling career path. I never felt I missed out on anything with my mother at work and not at home with me.
I’m not sure how much of it is real and how much is perceived, but I do feel there is still a negative undertone to working mothers. I feel that some employers think we are not committed to our careers as we have to rush off after the kids and from some mothers I get the vibe that they believe we’re not committed to being a mother – I know I shouldn’t care what other people think of me but I do, and as we need great support as women in business we also need great support from other mothers for the same reason.
As I struggled to decide between career or children after having my first before my second child I temped in the media industry, the woman who ran the Temp Agency I worked for used to say that she never had enough mothers to fill the demand from the Media Agencies. The Agencies would actually request mothers for the temp contracts even though they worked less hours they got through twice as much work as the other temps they hired, their attention to detail was often better and their ability to take on a number of different tasks at once and manage them was exceptional.
So here’s my opinion for what it’s worth, the guilt is a ridiculous waste of time, but sometimes it just won’t shift. Maybe it’s what keeps us on our toes, as for being the perfect mother, if you can show me one then maybe I’ll aspire to be one. Until then, I strongly believe that for those of us that want to follow our individual career path it in fact makes us better at our job and in my case a better mother, maybe even a great mother.
After 16 years in the media industry Emma now owns her own business, Emma's Angels, that provides knowledge and services for career mothers. After years of deliberation, she's chosen the best of both worlds; career and family and works hard every day to provide her clients the opportunity to have the same lifestyle. She's a proud mother of two amazing boys and a devoted wife and friend.